a RelationsHip

Relationship---of all kinds are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold on to some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and its lost.

-Kaleel Jamison, The Nibble Theory-


Sometimes we thought that by holding on to the person dearly is the best way of loving them, but we have forgotten that everyone needs a breathing space and that our possessiveness can indirectly give them unnecessary burden… The best way to love someone is to let them be who they want to be, not what you want them to be.