The love lost but not found

We knew each other for 4 years. We were good friends but were never really that close. He was like my brother who always teased me (which was really annoying at the time) but also stood up for me. He had said many times before that he liked me but no one really took it that seriously. I was still trying to get over a broken heart when that day came. We were all in front of the school just chillin before the bell rang when he said ,"(my name)? She's my girlfriend." Obviously he was joking. But I rode along with it. "yeah it's been 'us' for a while now. you never knew?" I answered to my friends.

Days went on and so did the "joke". The one who had broken my heart a few months prior started calling and asking if the "joke" was true. I never could lie to him. But still he didn't believe me. I didn't have anyone else at the time so I turned to my so-called-"boyfriend".
He made me forget about my "ex". We started hanging out more and the joke became more believable (but really was STILL a joke). Weeks went on and he always brought my books, stayed with me after school, walked me to volleyball practice and so on. And I heard from my friends that the joke was no joke anymore, that HE really had feelings for me. I didn't know what to do. I was gonna leave for another country in two months and I too, though I never did admit it, had feelings for him. It developed until it was love but it never did become 'us'. It was like that probably the last month of my stay there. I was in heaven and I had never been happier in my life.
The day of my departure came. He told me (when we were at the airrport) right before I left that He's always liked me since the first time we met, but he could never find a way to get through to me or anyone else. He wished that the joke had happened a few years earlier. THough he loved me truely, he just couldn't risk a long distance relationship. I understood him but it still hurt alot. And It would be unfair of me to make him wait. So, with one last hug and a lot of tears, we parted ways.

We don't communicate anymore. I think it's because niether of us want to be reminded of our love not found but was lost. I tried calling him several times but the signal was horrible and we couldn't understand each other. Maybe it was just not meant to be... But how I wish it was.....