The miss of a lost love

The miss of a lost love can darken the soul. Wishing to see her in the moonlight or day can cause pain and it does in my heart. Her walk was of a God and her eyes were of the dove. Lost am I in this world without her. Her touch her sound the kiss of forever and the words that came to be.
She died in my arms, and the pain will never go away. Some nights I cry praying for her to be here, but only alone I come to be. If only someone knew how the pain burns like fire slowly burning the heart. Tears are the only memory of her and her smile.
No cure could be found and it was only up to God's time. So many things I still wanted to say to her and so much to do with so little time. Like to take a walk through a park and hold hands as the birds fly free with the wind or to make love on a beach as the waves crash to the shore. She was my true love and to see her go away kills my soul.
I did all I could to make her time happy, we talk about memories and stories, went to the tree outside our house were I asked her to marry me, but most of the time I just watched her get sicker and sicker and on the day of her death I blew out the candle of our dreams never to light it again.
Wherever you are I'll always be here waiting for the day we can once meet again. For when the day comes tears of the past will be gone and tears of the future will lead the way.


“Sometimes I wished you were still here to hold me, now that you are gone with the wind like those memories that I’d hold on forever, I wish that you are happy in the land so faraway.”

After a While

After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans.
After a while you learn, that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure…
that you really are strong,
and you really do have worth.
And you learn and you learn…
With every good bye you lean…


Veronica A. Shoffstall

"学习不再为你掉泪其实真的很不容易，你在我心上留下的伤有时真的让我痛彻心扉。哪种心痛让我难受不已，但是人始终得学会放下。我不觉得我真的放下了，毕竟，这不是一两天就能做到的。虽然这件事过了蛮长的一段时间，但在我心中，这回忆仍然还是挥不走也抹不掉的。请恕我没法把你彻底的忘记。但我答应你，我一定会努力的。"

The love changed

"I was seventeen when we met, he was nineteen, 6 foot 4, and then as now a tough guy with a soft centre.

I probably loved Steve, within about three weeks, but I was far more sensible at seventeen, than I am now. I didn't tell him I loved him for about three months! We went out for a year, (just over). We were so together, no one doubted we would marry. But we didn't; he ended it, and still I do not know why.

These days, the 'why', has ceased to matter; because we are still friends. I doubted the true sincerity of his friendship for a decade, people told me he didn't really care about me that he was keeping me in reserve or as an ego boost. So I doubted, even though I knew him well enough to know it wasn't the kind of thing he would do. I suppose I wanted something of the love to remain, enough to wonder if I was kidding myself!

Then three years ago, I fell in love again; and Tony died very suddenly after we had been together only a short while! I was devastated, and went a little nuts (drinking, unable to feel anything remotely normal). And while the rest of the world tutted about what a short time I had known Tony, Steve was a rock.

He listened to me, phoned me, he was there in every way he could be at six hundred miles distance. I must have driven him nuts over the next ten months, every day I rang him. He would pep talk me through the afternoons.

One night I got really drunk and rang him, told him I loved him, that he was a bastard for marrying someone else. The next day when I rang him to apologise; I said "please don't stop being my friend, I don't think I could take that right now".

He said "There is nothing, you could say to me, that would stop me being your friend" And there in that moment, I realised the love had changed we were truly friends now, with no untidy loose ends.

It shouldn't have taken a good man dying to show me he was a friend. To show me, what my heart had always known.

Love is forever, you have to let its shape change though, without screaming about what you might have preferred.

I will Love him all my life, nothing can change it....and you know what, it isn't sad anymore.

There are walls around my heart still, but they aren't made of Steve now (Tony saw to that) They are just walls; behind them I have two great men, they are both with me always."

-Adapted from someone else's life-

Author and source unknown


"We can never be lovers anymore. But i still love you as always.. however, the love that i hold for you have taken another form. A form of love shared between friends. i knew that u have nv held a place for me in your heart whether as a lover or a fren. But for me, i will always watch over you, may it be now or ten yrs from now. i promise to always be dere for you."

Caught by her smile

Well like most authors i am one who do not believe in love at first sight until i experienced it myself...
It all started like this, I was with a few friends at McDonalds, after my lecture from school, we were chatting and laughing at some stupid stories that one of my friends told...
Just then, a group of girls come and took their seats, there was this girl, quite outstanding for that striking red top she was wearing and she had this sweet smile...
Then, while they were at the counter, ordering their food, i noticed something, they all had a disability, they could not talk... But, this was not considered a disability to me, i walked up to them, and ask for her number, well, she was surprised?
But, she eventually gave me her address and her name is Elaine, she does not have a phone at home and there was no possibility to talk to her...
After a few days, i sent her a letter, asking her out on a date the following Saturday. Whether she agreed to the date or was it rejected, i could not tell for i do not know!
We were supposed to meet at the Lido cinema to catch a movie, i waited for around 5mins then, she appeared. She was wearing that same smile that caught me..
In the cinema, we saw he show "Ice Age." In order to communicate, i needed to get a pen and paper...
I asked her about how she felt about me.. she told me she was very happy, but at the same time, she was worried as she could not define whether my love was out of sympathy or was it from my heart.
From that moment, i have been asking myself the question, until a month later after my exams, i finally made up my mind, i was really in love with her, not for her disability that i sympathize, not for that she is pretty, but for the fact that i love her... i went to her home, which made her quite surprised, i pulled her out of her home and ran to the park in font of her block of flats, i looked at her and wrote to her how i felt, she looked at my with those big black eyes, those that could take your soul away if you were you stare at it for a long time.
She took the pen and wrote this sentence, "I love you too, but now that i am assured that you love me for what i am and not out of sympathy, i feel that i will not regret the decision.."
Now, we have been together for two years and although we have not planned to get married, i have never once quarrel with her, not even on paper and i never will...

-By Elvin-

In life, we set a lot of expectations; on everything and everyone. Many a times, we will discuss our expectations for our partners especially. We would say: “ He must be tall, dark and handsome” or he must be of certain criteria. In fact, more often than not, those people that we stole our hearts are totally outta our so called expectations, ain’t it?

So, in the first place, why did we bother to set expectations when we know that the one we love will be absolutely unique?

Could missing someone become a habit?

思念会不会是一种习惯?
几天前的晚上,我开车经过我以前念书的那所中学.学校的运动场外面挂满七彩的圣诞灯泡,礼堂里的灯火通明.我把车停在学校外面,静静地听着从礼堂里传来的悠扬的圣经.学校每逢圣诞节也有很多庆祝活动,这天应是圣诞崇拜吧?
那时我们是这样庆祝圣诞的:圣诞假期前的一天,是圣诞联欢会.这天不用上课,每班自行布置课室.黄昏时候,全体学生在礼堂集合,有歌舞和话剧表演,有圣诞老人派礼物.平安夜之前几天,是圣诞崇拜.因为是在晚上在回去学校,所以觉得很特别.平安夜和圣诞节,我们会到其中一个同学家里开派对.
年少时候,从来不用担心这个平安夜要一个人过.有了爱情之后,平安夜变得浪漫了,可是,也会担心今年的平安夜没有人陪.爱情是不归路,曾经有过,一旦失去了,总觉得不习惯.
一个女孩子在信里问我:"思念会不会是一种习惯?"我们都曾经以为,我爱他,我才会思念他.也许,女孩说得对,思念不过是一种习惯.我习惯了思念他,他走了,我还是没法不思念他.一天,我终于不再思念他,因为他离开太久了,我的习惯已经不再是习惯.
思念只是习惯,那么,就习惯一下不去思念任何人吧.

You could own a relationship and have someone by your side who loves you. After a while, you got used to the presence of this person, used to missing them… However, if one day she were to leave you, you will still continue to miss her…
But sometimes you should ponder, do I miss her because i really do or because I got so used to missing her that it became a habit… and that I just cant quit missing her.

If you can get used to missing someone, maybe as time goes by you can also cultivate a new habit of not missing someone.

a RelationsHip

Relationship---of all kinds are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold on to some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and its lost.

-Kaleel Jamison, The Nibble Theory-


Sometimes we thought that by holding on to the person dearly is the best way of loving them, but we have forgotten that everyone needs a breathing space and that our possessiveness can indirectly give them unnecessary burden… The best way to love someone is to let them be who they want to be, not what you want them to be.

ting: 每一个人心中都有一块田，用梦去耕耘，用爱去灌溉。

hee. im sorry i took the first post!! Take care miss ya, and dun give up in wadeva u do.. =)

fen